Questions to ponder......

Ray and I had a very interesting conversation last night, which was sparked by the Montel Williams show on marital affairs that day. We tend to talk about very odd things, and for some, others may not feel comfortable talking about this to the other person but we seem to do (yes, we're weirdos) but we do draw lines when the comfort level is gone.

So, let's see how you answer these questions!

1. Would you rather have your significant other emotionally cheat on you or physically cheat on you?

2. Would you rather have your significant other cheat on you 5 times with the same person or 5 times with a different person every time?

3. Would you take back the person if they've cheated on you with the understanding that they'd be dumped if it happened again? (and this is the first offense)

and.....

4. Would you be more likely to take them back if it was just a one-night stand or something that lasted a little bit longer?

Hard questions to ponder, right? No one wants to be cheated on, but if bad luck befalls you and this happens, what would you do?

Trang wants a purse

*sigh* I'm so in love.......with two purses!!! Oh my goodness, they're so cute! I love 'em, I love 'em, I love 'em! If only I can buy them! ugh! Check them out!

www.coach.com/shop/product_nobefree.asp?product_no=7077&category_id=445&show_bc=&easyask_id=

www.coach.com/shop/product_nobefree.asp?product_no=6890&category_id=200

I soooo want these purses! *sigh* I wish I could spend money.........

Spring Break has officially begun!!!!

Woo-hoo!!!! I am on Spring Break!!!!! You know you're ready for Spring Break when towards the end of the week you're just popping in movies and not really being on top of the disciplining.

Friday:
Went to Allie's birthday party at Kyoto Palace. It's one of those japanese restaurants where they cook right in front of you. I had the Samaurai plate, which is basically chicken and shrimp, and Ray had uh, I forget the name but it was steak and shrimp. The cook was the old japanese man. He did a few tricks like catching food in his chef hat and making a volcano out of onion rings.

There were about 13 ppl present, a mix of Tech ppl and Allie's other friends. Since we were a large group half of us sat at one side of a grill and the others sat at the other so we were facing each other but each group had their own chef to cook for them. I made an observation that everyone on my side were the Tech ppl and the other side were Allie's friend, whom she was also sitting with. Or in other words, my side was mainly minorities (with the exception of Alisyn and Laura) and the other side was purely white. Or.....our side were chopstick users whereas the other side was a mix of fork and chopstick users.......Interesting..........

Saturday:
Ray and I went to SFO to pick parents up at 8:30 a.m. They didn't get out 'til 9:45 a.m. Damn customs.......Dropped parents off, got some souvenirs including yummy pepper and shrimp chips, went to Ray's auntie house to drop off his barong, went to Berryessa Community Center to sign up for yoga, visited Berryessa's new library (very modern!), got some jamba juice, vegged at his place while watching CSI, went to Lucille's for some waxing and dinner.

Sunday:
Had breakfast with Ly at Carrow's, saw a waiter casually push a scoop of butter on plate so it wouldn't fall off (ewwww!!!!), met up with Ray and went up to SF to visit Liz, Chak, and baby Matthew. Matthew's getting cuter and cuter every day. Had a conversation with Ray about how he's the last cousin to be married. What pressure! I hope that doesn't freak him out into prolonging his bachelor life. Helped Liz make dinner. Made a chicken, green bean, and carrot stir fry and fried their mom's lumpia. Yum! Watched some Extreme Makeover: Home Edition(I love that show!), a bit of Desparate Housewives (our first time), took some pics with baby Matthew, and went home at 10 p.m.
Side note: I swear, every time I look at Ray I just fall in love with him all over again. My heart still skips a beat when I look at his face and feel his hand in mine's. How is it possible that I've never felt this way for anyone before? I'm afraid to say that it could quite possibly mean that he's the one that was meant for me. That all those other ppl we dated and thought were possibly the "one" probably weren't. At least for myself it feels that way since I've never felt like this for anyone else. I can't necessarily speak for Ray but I sure hope he feels the same.

What would you do? How would you feel?

So you go to dinner with your boyfriend and his female friend of 7 months from work. The first 5 minutes or so seem ok, but as the evening progresses you find yourself being shut out by his friend. To clarify, it feels like you're the third wheel watching two ppl on a date. The reason you feel this way is because this female work friend is talking about work-related subjects (which you have no expertise in whatsoever), they're leaning towards and making eye contact mainly with your boyfriend, and barely saying one word to you. Your boyfriend (guys can be seriously socially retarded) is not helping the situation by giving into the work-related talk and so you sit there hoping and praying for anything remotely NOT related to computer talk so you can join in and remind them that you exist!

So what would you do? How would you feel? Would you feel uncomfortable and angry at the same time? Is this just an overreaction? Does this friend appear to be uncaring and rude and possible socially retarded too? Should you bring it to your boyfriend's attention?

Still sick and reflecting on things

So here I am dying at 6:30 a.m. and so I call in sick. Coughing fits are subsiding and now I'm just dealing with a headache.

Today's reflections:
I absolutely positively love and am in love with Ray. I've been struggling for a while with personal issues that are spilling over into the relationship that I won't go into detail since it's long-winded and just plain personal. The slow realization that I'm coming to is that a lot of these issues are stemming from the fact that I do feel slighly intimidated by our relationship. You might be thinking, "What the f%#K?!?!? How can someone be intimidated by a relationship they're in?!?!" Well, folks, it can happen and here's how.

I didn't realize how wonderful Ray is to me. Despite some faults that drive me nuts (and hey, I'm not perfect either!) he is absolutely perfect for me. He encompasses everything I want in a man. He's loving, supportive, affectionate, logical, smart, motivated, absolutely hilarious, energetic, and totally hot! One day he's helping me pay my bills and the next day he's spending 1/2 hour massaging a stressed area on my neck. That's love, man! That's someone who's in it for the long run. That's someone who's NOT just a "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" kinda guy. Now, here comes the intimidation. Ray is such a great catch, the best boyfriend I've EVER had that the thought of losing him just blows my mind. This fear has transformed into these issues that I've been dealing with for the past few months. Except for one incident, he has not given me reason to doubt this relationship. I'm slowly starting to understand and feel more secure in what we have. It's so hard not to doubt things when everything is still new and you're still learning about this person, but I definitely feel that things are going in the positive direction. What makes it better is how supportive and understanding he is with me. I can't believe how accommodating he is. I am asking so much from him and he's gladly handing it over. It definitely motivates me to get past these roadblocks of mine and to strengthen our relationship.

Being sick sucks ass

Argh, I am still sick! It's been a slow death for a week already. Coughing fits, chills here and there, headaches, and just wanting to lie in bed!

Sat.: Went to Shelby, Ray's niece's, 1 birthday. Very cute! she had on this adorable pink dress. Cake was amazing. Scary clown came to visit! (good thing Shirley wasn't there!) It's nice being able to spend some time with the Lopez family. We've been mainly going to Lim functions so I'm glad I'm getting to know the other family.

Went clubbing. Got upset at Ray. Asked him if he could hold my license and chapstick and he has to go and say that he doesn't like to have things in his pocket. Thanks a lot! A measly teeny tiny chapstick and license. Obviously I got mad (plus I'm PMS-ing) so I claimed I would have Johnny hold it and he ALWAYS holds it for me! Ray took that as a F-you and so we ignored each for a while. Had a "shouting" argument in the club mainly because music was loud so we had to shout. I could feel my voice straining since I was still sick. Hate feeling like Ray thinks I'm trying to win an argument when I only try to explain to him why it upset me. I think he gets it in his head that there needs to be a winner and loser so he "battles" to be that winner and that comes out as not understanding what I'm trying to express and so then I come out as trying to convince him that I'm right. Does that make sense? Anyways, the misunderstanding was cleared up. By that time it was 12:30 a.m. (got at the club at 10:30) Hung out for a while, danced a bit, went home at 1:30 a.m.

Sunday: Had breakfast at Stack's with Ly. Yum! Hung out with Ray. Played some ping-pong, watched "Finding Neverland" (good movie), felt like shit, went to bed early. I LOVE RAY. I LOVE RAY. I LOVE RAY. He takes good care of me!!

Bad dream.........

Had a dream this morning that Ray cheated on me. No kissing or anything like that, just a girl (who oddly looked like Andy from Dawson's Creek) sitting on his lap, but still quite upsetting. What do dreams mean? Some say it's your unconsciousness dealing with issues so you're not completely stressed out when you're awake. Some say it's a predictor of something. I definitely would NOT like to think that it's a predictor of ANYTHING! The dream ended with me finally coming down from the rage I felt and just breaking down and crying, which in turn had me crying in real life. *sigh* It was good to have Ray there to comfort me from the dream, but as a result, my overactive imagination has begun and now thinking of too many ridiculous scenarios in life. *sigh* What's the deal? I need to seriously clear my head........

Stop Trang, stop!!!!

I seriously need to stop reading "Wild Love Confessions" on netscape.com Reading all these horrible confessions about infedility is really making me cynical about relationships. Read this excerpt that I took off of today's confessions:

My wife's best friend and I were body surfing in the ocean. We were bouncing off each other as the waves gently rolled in. She was a beautiful woman who I wanted to hook up with since day one.

Half of the time these stories sound fake, but you never know! It's very unnerving to think that this poor woman unknowingly had a husband lusting after her best friend and wanting to hook up with her. Makes you wonder if he had met the best friend first would he have hooked up with her? It goes back to that quote from my last entry, "Damn! Where was he/she____months/years ago!" So all this is making me feel even more insecure and I seriously need to stop reading this stuff!!!!

Looking vs. Checking Out

Had a conversation with some acquaintances. One of the ladies, V., told a story about how a year before her wedding to her now husband she joined a gym. On her first day there she saw this extremely hot guy and her immediate thought was, "Damn! Where were you 6 months ago!" She then proceeded to say how this guy just totally turned her on and how she just wanted a little "taste" but because she was engaged she didn't proceed with that desire. As attracted as she was to this man she decided to only go so far as to smile at him. Every time he would go to a machine near her she would leave. As reassuring it is that she choose not to act out her desires it's quite unnerving. She had obviously just gotten engaged, ready to marry, and here she was not just looking or checking out a guy, but actually lusting after a guy that she regularly sees. All the insecurities and fears I have keep resurfacing everytime I hear stories like these. I always have this belief that people are going to be devoted to one another and then these stories freak me out. Of course if I had to choose I would rather have Ray lusting after a woman but not do anything about it than to act on it. But do I really want to be thinking that there could be, or some day be, a woman he meets at his workplace or elsewhere that he'll immediately exclaim, "Damn! Where was she _____ months/years ago!" To me, that statement's basically saying "If I had met this person before my current bf/gf I would've totally went for her." Do I feel comforted by that? no! I can deal with his subtle looks at girls as we drive around or whatever but to have him consciously make inner comments like that, I feel, would be hurtful. To me, it's saying that he is more attracted to this other woman than me. But of course ppl will say that it doesn't necessarily mean he'll be attracted to her intellectually and that it's just physical appearance. Sooooo that goes to the question, "Does that mean he likes her body better than mine's? Were her breasts bigger? Was she skinnier? Is that his ideal but lucky that I have a good personality so it makes up for what I'm lacking physically?" I know it sounds neurotic but I can't help it. Ray is absolutely fabulous and completely hot and I always fear that I won't be enough for him. Is this an issue that most females deal with? Or am I just being overly insecure?

An exhausting weekend

Sunday, March 13th: Picked up my sister at 10:20 a.m. to go eat breakfast. Wanted to take her to Stack's but when we got there it would've easily been an hour wait. Tried Elephant's Bar nearby but they didn't open 'til 11, tried Carrow's nearby and it was a 15 min. wait. We then headed back to SJ (Stack's in Campbell) and I was feeling bad because it seemed like the only places we now had time for was fast-food and I basically promised her a sit-down breakfast. I don't know if it was just her sleepiness or something but it sounded like she was disappointed too. I tried to make it easier on her and gave her fast food choices and she suggested Denny's. Although Denny's isn't fast food I knew they had an eating counter so I immediately agreed and we went there. We were seated at the counter at 11:00 and were outta there at 11:40. By the time we were seated and I started telling her stories that I read off this website she was in a good mood so I felt better. Dropped her off at 11:45 a.m.
Went back to Ray's and we took his motorcycle to go to the Oakland Zoo. I thought I'd never been there, but after walking around a bit I remembered I did go there with Viet's class when I student taught in his 2nd grade class in Oakland. Really enjoyed the afternoon there. Saw bison, giraffes, elephants, meerkats (our favs), chimps, etc. It felt like we were hiking for all the hills they had! I tripped on this dirt path that had these deep grooves. Luckily I didn't twist my ankle but it did hurt for a while. Afterwards we went into SF to eat at Ponzu in the Serrano Hotel. Had a gift card from Xmas so we figured we'd make use of it. Very fancy-smancy restaurant. Very pricey asian fusion. I had the tamarind-glazed duck breast ($21) with a Lucky Monkey drink ($9) and Ray had the curry beef short ribs ($23) and a Shangri-La drink.($9) We shared plates. It was pretty good, but not worth the price! Headed back home around 6:45 p.m. Had to sorta pee but thought I'd be ok. NOPE! All the vibrations and bumps we kept hitting made it worse. Luckily Ray had to pull over to turn on his gas reserves so I was able to tell him I REALLLY had to go. Luckily he had to get gas anyways so we took the next exit. What a relief! Got home around 8, finished watching Bowfinger, and we were knocked out by 9:30! I was so tired, my legs and bottom was sore from all the walking and sitting on the bike for so long. I had fun though.

Monday: Had my first day of training in the Houghton Mifflin Language Arts curriculum. It was alright. I hate just sitting in one place for a long time though. I'd rather be teaching! I miss my kids! And we have 4 more days of this. Training was in Fairfield, which sucked ass. Had to meet the K team at Washington at 6:45 a.m. to drive all the way up there in time (starts at 8) Was soooo tired. Had a so-so mushroom cheeseburger for lunch. Reflected on really needing to eat a lot healthier. Gonna go with Handsome to see 24 at Jon and Lorraine's tonight.

They always get ya!

Friendster Blogging sucks. Anything you want to do always requires $$, which I don't have. So I want to organize my blogs so they are neatly archived and put into links so ppl can easily navigate through them instead of having them all on one really long page but NOOOOOOOOOO, that requires upgrading, which requires actually paying money. That's how they get you folks! That totally sucks ass...... that's why blogger rules!
Anyways, the end of the week went relatively painless. By Friday I was absolutely exhausted after spending a week and half lesson planning for two weeks since I have training all week next week. I have to make substitute plans for the next week and the lesson plans for the week that I come back. That is a lot to do! I not only plan for my reg. class but also ELD (English Lang. Dev.) Kinder, ELD 4th grade, and Power Readers. Crazy, man. For all you ppl out there who think teaching is so easy it is so not. It is very time consuming. Teaching is one of those misunderstood professions. There is curriculum out there to plan out your days and weeks but that doesn't mean that everything is useful. I sit there and go through all the lessons, decide what works, modify what I need to so it actually benefits my kids, and then put that together. Think of it this way, it took me 1 hour to plan 4 lessons for one subject. Can you imagine having to not only plan math, reading, writing, science, and social studies for your regular kinder class and then also plan for your ELD Kinder class, ELD 4th grade, AND Power Readers and all this planning is NOT happening between the hours of 8-3 because you're too busy teaching! Therefore calculate all the hours that is put in, begin all this planning at 3 p.m. and you do the math and realize that we work more hours than we should. If that doesn't make you a believer, consider this, teacher's contract hours end 15 min. after the students go home (for example, mine's ends at 3:15 p.m.). Any work done after that is volunteer work. There is no such thing as overtime in the teaching profession. And let I mentioned earlier, we cannot lesson until after the kids leave so technically we're doing overtime and not getting paid for it. Soooo.......do you really think a teacher's job is easy and they are overpaid????
Anyways, enough about teacher-talk. I've been doing that way too much. Last night Ray and I went to his cousin, Eugene's, 40th bday party. It was nice. Lots of kids running around. Because of all the stress buildup finally ending on Friday I totally crashed. By 10 p.m. I was ready to go but Ray just had to play Halo 2. I was totally falling asleep but not wanting to because this isn't my family so I didn't want to appear rude. By 10:30, which was when he finally finished, I was ready to go but then he jumped at the chance to play AGAIN. It's easy to say that I was pretty irritated by that point and even though part of me wanted to go over there and just straight out tell him that I wanted to go home, the other part (the supportive loving part) didn't say anything because I wanted him to spend time with his family. So I sucked it up and he eventually took the hint and we went home. Thank God!
Today, we mulched. The veggie garden needs mulching so we can have some nice veggies for the summer. Since Ray stayed with me for over a week while he waited for his new room to be avail. he mulched to return the favor. We spent the morning mulching. It wasn't too bad even though I had to avoid some slimy worms. Ewwww! I'm so not a gardening type person but I definitely enjoyed the time spent with him. Afterwards we tried to go watch "Robots" at the Tech IMAX, but no one I knew was working that day so we couldn't get in for free. Ran into Vuong there but couldn't talk since he was with a "school" group. Went to this free convention that had vendors selling wares. Wanted to get a fake Louis V person but Ray guilt-tripped me out of it since I didn't have money and I was asking him to cover for me. With all the recent past month's events I've been put into a few thousand dollar debt so Ray wants me to stop using my credit card as much as possible. He's also willing to pay my bills and have me pay him back which is soooo sweet of him. That's total love, man. He truly makes me happy. So we then hung out at Borders for 3 hours and now we're watching TV.

Tomorrow: brunch with my sister (and hopefully Ray will come), bike ride to Oakland Zoo and dinner in SF. Woo-hoo!

My God, it's only Wednesday?!?!

So here we go........

Monday (3/07/05)
Eh, nothing too eventful. The usual job of making a difference in a child's life and went to Jon and Lorraine's (Ray's cousins) house to watch 24. Go Kiefer! I do have to say that 24 is a really good show. If you like Alias, which I do, than you'll like 24! If you're not familiar with the 24 storyline than please read. 24 focuses on the CTU unit which deals with terrorism and stuff. Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) is the main character. Every season he's faced with a new challenge (along with mini-challenges connected to the main one) that takes exactly 24 hours. So, every episode chronicles one hour. They have this clock that's periodically displayed on the screen to increase the suspense. I had always wondered how much could possibly happen in one hour and now I realize A LOT could happen! Every episode is jam-packed with crazy happening's! So yeah, I recommend you don't watch it now since we're already halfway in the season. I recommend either renting an old season or waiting 'til next season. This was my first season and I didn't have too hard of a time understanding things that go on. Because it's a new threat every season there aren't too many tie-in's from old seasons so you don't get too lost.

Tuesday (3/8/05)
Field trip Day: Today was the Kindergartener's second field trip this school year. We went to the Children's Discovery Museum in San Jose. You may be asking yourself, "Don't you teach in San Leandro? Isn't that an hour away?" Oh yes it is! I had fears of the bus ride with 56 kindergarteners but it turned about to be pleasantly painless. The kids behaved really well considering they had to sit there for an hour. The only things that happened were occasional heads popping up, kids trading spots on the same seat, or trying to spin around in their seat, but those were rare occurrences and were localized with certain students.
We spent an hour and 15 min. in the museum. The kids had so much fun there. There were a couple times that a chaperone lost a kid (mainly Celia and Matthew, those little knuckleheads). Near the end of the day, before lunch, Gabriela tripped and opened an old wound. I had to carry her to first aid and they treated her. Johnny stopped by earlier that morning to bring me batteries for my camera (they were the wrong kind!) and then at lunch to hang out. We got back at 1:10 p.m. I was so exhausted but unfortunately we still had Power Readers from 1:50-2:50. I was ready to die by that time but I just forced myself to focus on the class and got through it feeling ok. I even went home and worked out with Jen and Lucille for 1 1/2 hour. It was a nice day so we decided to walk to the gym, which takes about 30 min., do 20 min. of weights, and then walk back. My legs were soooo sore afterwards, but that's a good thing, right?
My sweetie came over at 8 and we went and bought burger patties, etc. to make burgers at home. We forgot to buy buns so we Atkins it. Becoming really concerned about a close friend of mine's who's going through a rough time in her life. She's dealing with these issues in a very unhealthy alternative, which I strongly do not agree with. I keep trying to encourage her to join me in more healthier ways to relieve the stress but she refuses and it worries me. I've noticed that she resorted to this alternative the last time she had a major stress and I don't like it one bit. It also upsets me that our other friend contributes to this habit after I've spoken to him about it the last time. No matter what I say or do it ultimately comes down to what she decides but that doesn't mean I'll support it. My other friend, in the past, had agreed that it's not a good way to deal with it either but gives into her, making him somewhat of a hypocrite. I'm not sure what I can do or even if I should do anything. She seems set on this choice.

A weekend of fun

Friday night (3/4/05):
A couple of days ago, Ray thought it would be fun to go to the drive-in. I hadn't been to the drive-in for about a year so I was totally game. I met up with Ray at his new place around 6:45ish. We decided to go watch "Be Cool" with John Travolta, the Rock, Vince Vaughn, Uma Thurman, and some other known actors that I can't seem to remember right now, therefore they're just "known" and not "well-known!"
Anyways, we get to the drive-in a little after 7:30 (the movie started at 7:30) and there were several long-ass lines to get in. We made the mistake of going into the line where there wasn't a cashier attendant there yet. So we sat there for what felt like 10 minutes before they sent someone over to open up the rest of the lines and we sat there and watched the lines that had the one attendant. It was torture! All the what-ifs! So we finally get in and located our screen. We missed probably 5-10 min. of the show, which was fine. We opened up his hatchback, laid out his big pillow and heavy blanket and watched the movie. It was a pretty good movie. I have to say that this was the Rock's best performance I've seen so far. I was worried that he was going to be typecasted as the brawny action hero, that was the road he was already taking, so I'm glad he decided to do this gay, country-singing, aspiring actor, bodyguard role. He was quite funny! Vince Vaughn was pretty funny too. We've adopted a new saying from him. "Twinkle, twinkle, baby, twinkle twinkle!" It's great to say after someone has made a comment or complaint towards something. We kept saying it all weekend.

Saturday (3/5/05):
We slept in a bit since we didn't have to go to my house to do some mulching in the veggie garden with my landlord. He postponed it 'til next week to let the soil dry up a bit. That worked out perfectly since we bought $10 tickets to go see "Aida" at the Children's Musical Theater. The first time we went to a CMT production was in December when Ray's neice was in "The Christmas Carol." It was a very well-put play and we were very impressed by the acting and singing (plus the fact that contrary to the name it is not all child actors!) so we decided to go see another show. This was "Aida's" opening weekend and they had a $10 special for the 2:00 showing on Saturday so we went. It was amazing!!!!! It was such a bittersweet story with wonderful music to go with it. The main characters were played very well. Julie Thomas played Aida and boy did she have a voice! Can you believe she's only 16!??! I totally loved the play. I definitely felt that I wouldn't mind seeing it again especially the Broadway version.
After the play we went back to Ray's place and watched the movie, "Ray." It was a movie based on Ray Charles' life. Jamie Foxx, the actor that plays Ray, just won the Oscars for best male. We were able to watch an hour of it before heading it and it was already really good. I didn't realize all the drugging and infidelity that was Ray's life. It was horrible, in a way, to watch this legend behave the way all women fear their husbands will be like. It was even more horrible to watch his wife stay with him even after finding out that his current mistress had Ray's baby (his 3rd child). It really adds to the fear that all men can be easily swayed by a pretty face with a nice rack. You never want to think that your man will ever cheat on you but it's always there. When he stays at work late more than one night in a week, you wonder. When he seems to be less affectionate all of a sudden, you wonder. If he seems overly generous, you wonder.
We left the house around 6:30 p.m. to head over to Miyake's in Palo Alto for my friend, AG's birthday dinner. I've only been to the Palo Alto Miyake's once and that was during the daytime. Boy is there a difference between day and night! Ray told me about the sakebombs and such but I didn't really how crazy it gets in there! Unfortunately, not all of her friends were there on time (let's say over an hour frickin' late!) so they would not seat us. It really sucked for the folks like me, Ray, Allie, Caroline, Laura, Johnny, AG! to be there on time or even 15-30 min. late and have to wait for these folks who should've planned their day a bit better to get here on time. A few of us were getting extremely irritated. I was ready to just leave. I highly doubt the extreme late-comers were late because of some huge emergency (because you know that's rarely the case) so it makes it even more annoying when they show-up and I don't recall hearing any apologies for making the other 14 ppl wait for their sorry-asses. Anyways, so we finally get into the damn restaurant and get seated and immediately they ordered sakebombs. If you don't know what a sakebomb is it's a glass of Japanese beer with a shot glass of sake in the glass and you drink it at one. It is Miyake tradition to stand on your chair as a waiter yells, "Sake!" and everyone yells back "Bomb!" I had 2 sakebombs before our food arrived so I was already feeling a bit loopy. The food was pretty good but never again will I get the spicy salmon teriyaki roll. It just did NOT taste very yummy, especially after Johnny said it tasted like dog shit! We were there until almost 11. AG was totally wasted! She could barely stand up, which was proven when she fell down on the sidewalk taking poor Laura along with her! Man! So anyways, we went home and finished "Ray." Went to bed at 1. Got woken up at 2 by a loud crash. Ray's DVD tower apparently toppled over. Went back to sleep. Woke up again at 4 because the tower once again crashed. Ugh!

Sunday (3/6/05):
With all those wonderful waking moments last night it was not fun having to wake up at 7 to go to my parent's house to drive them to the airport. My parents left for Vietnam today for 2 weeks so I got stuck driving them to SFO. Ray was really sweet to come with me. My sister ended up not going so I was glad to have him there. My parents packed two suitcases for themselves and then 3 suitcases full of water and shit to take there with them. They were so frickin' heavy! We get to the airport a little after 9:30, checked them in, and we left at 10:00. Headed to Ikea since Ray needed a few things for his place; Shoe rack, shelf, etc. Had some breakfast at their food place. For 99 cents we got some bacon, eggs, and yummy hashbrowns. For another 99 cents we got some swedish pancakes. What a deal! We had a lot of fun at Ikea, but who wouldn't? Especially when it wasn't that crowded. Dropped my parent's SUV at home, went back to Ray's, washed both cars while Ray put up his shelf and stuff. We took a 1 1/2 nap and now Ray is finishing a few things before we go back to my place to make dinner. I hope he finishes soon because I'm hungry and we only had the Ikea breakfast!

Hey! Another post!

So I made it to a second post. That is quite an accomplishment! I fear that this novelty will wear off soon and I'll just eventually neglect it like I've done with so many other things. Although doing this has reminded me of how much I loved writing in a journal. It's been about 10 years since I've written in a real journal. I started my first journal/diary when I was in 5th grade. You might think, "Wow, that's pretty young!" For me I had a lot to say, I guess, but also the fact that I love to write. I've written to express pains, anger, happiness, and everything in between and I'd forgotten how releasing it can be. The only issue now is the fact that it is being broadcast all over the internet for all to see. It makes me think twice about writing certain things, which is a shame because then it's not 100% me, but I guess I can leave any "hurtful" venting to my close friends or in another form. I was watching the news last night and they interviewed this guy that got fired at google.com because he wrote in his blog that google was doing well. It really shocks you when you hear that kind of thing. I believe he did this before google went on the market or something so I guess they saw it as a form of insider tips but I just think he was just making an offhand comment about it. Nothing more. Thank God it doesn't really matter what I say about my job because I highly doubt Washington Elementary will ever go on the stock market!
Today was a normal work day. I'm in the middle of testing right now since report cards for the 2nd trimester are going on in a couple of weeks. I've been knee deep in testing of all sorts. I am not currently testing my kids on their reading. It's a bit depressing to see that some kids are a lot lower than I thought they were. The goal is to have all the kinders at a Level 4 reading by June and so far a majority of the ones I've tested already are at a Level 1 or 2. Although I shouldn't make a big deal about it since I have 3 1/2 months to get these kids up to grade level, it's still quite a disappointment. I was expecting most of the kids to at least be at Level 3, but that just means I have to focus on reading a lot more, even though we already spend an hour a day on Language Arts!
Lately I've been reading my education magazines and it's quite depressing. All you hear now are those damn budget cuts and how a bunch of ignorant people (including our Govinator) think that teachers don't do shit and therefore should not be paid as much as they do. I'm sorry but I didn't realize that a $42,000 yearly salary was A LOT! Maybe in frickin' hicktown in the Midwest, but do they seriously think that teachers in the Bay Area and other metropolitan areas are being overpaid?!?! And for those assholes who think that teachers don't work enough to "deserve" that kind of pay needs to be a teacher for a month to see that they are full of ignorant bullshit! For the people out there who are ignorant but not assholes, understand this. The kids may leave at 3pm but that doesn't mean the teachers do. I have friends that work from 7 a.m-6, 7pm EVERYDAY and that's STILL NOT ENOUGH! For non-teachers, you don't have to deal with 20-30 kids who have different personalities, different needs, different attitudes, different learning abilities, and let's not forget the crazy, needy, overbearing parents that are in your face because they think their child should've gotten credit for the homework that wasn't complete, and then there are those administrators (thank God mine's isn't one of them) who don't give a shit about you and don't help compensate for the hundreds of dollars you have to spend out of your own pocket to pay for supplies and other resources to help enrich these students' lives. If you think that coming into work at 7 a.m and sometimes not leaving until dusk and spending your weekends grading paper is not enough for the pay we get then you need to be shipped to a deserted island and shot! Obviously a threat to my job sends me off the rocker but how many people have to hear others say that they're getting paid too much and working too little when that's not the case? Hardly ever, right? Well, imagine how that feels for me and my teacher friends especially when you hear it from the immigrant-born governor who's never been through the California, or even United States schooling to act like he knows shit about the education over here. He is the reason why I have finally registered to vote. I have never registered to vote since I turned 18 but because of his ignorance in thinking that merit-based pay for teachers is the answer has pushed me to want to kick him out of office! So believe me, once elections come around again I will make sure that I put my two cents in to kick him out!
Well, enough of that, I hope everyone had a sunny day. Thanks for listening to my ranting and raving.

Ready....Set.....Go!

So it's been seriously a loooong time since I've written in any type of journal (web or paper) so I'm feeling at a lost as to where to begin. It's sort of like running into a friend you haven't seen in years and you wonder, "Where do I begin? Do I start with life 2 years ago? 1 year ago? 3 months ago? For the love of God!!!" So yeah, where does one begin a blog/journal if they have in the past written in a journal?
I didn't even realize that Friendster started a blog-thing. It's funny to watch as new ideas start forming and sooner or later other places rip off the idea. Eh, well, I don't really care. Anyways, I guess I can give you a synopsis of my life as it is this past year in so many words........
For those who have known me for a while and have kept in current contact with me know that my 3 year relationship with MG is over. Technically it has been over a little over a year ago but in actuality it was over for ME 1 1/2 years ago. I know that sounds like a long time between when I felt like the relationship was over and when it actually ended but I can only give you one word: optimism. I always feel optimistic that things will get better, that he will change, that I will change, that the world will change, but ladies and gentlemen.....IT DOES NOT CHANGE!! In the last 1 1/2 years of the relationship I began to really question my truly feelings and why I was in this relationship. I realized that we did not bring out the best in each other (which my close friends and roommates know all too well. Sorry guys!), we have too many different views about life in general, and I just did not, could not respect him as a person. Don't get me wrong. M is a sweet and wonderful person with a heart of gold, but that can only go so far in a relationship. Sorry ladies, love does not always conquer all. After you spend years watching as your life moved forward as you were achieving what you wanted to acheive and then you watch the person whom you committed to in a relationship basically sit in one spot and watch as the world goes by it gets a bit trying. It also becomes frustrating when they put up the front that they want to better themselves and move forward in life but they do nothing about it. It makes one feel that they were just saying a bunch of bullshit to avoid yet another argument. Aside from that issue, other differences that could not necessarily be changed were things I could not live with and so I finally realized that maybe I shouldn't settle and I should be more active in who I choose to be with because honestly, I was NOT that active when choosing him as a boyfriend. I have learned my lesson.
Besides that wonderful drama as it unfolded I also lost my teaching job in Milpitas. Fortunately, after spending a summer frantically looking for a job I finally secured a Kindergarten position in San Leandro 2 weeks into the school year. Although the first few months were very stressful since I went from teaching 4th grade to Kinder I have found that Kinder is the grade for me. I absolutely love it! Despite the fact that I have to drive 30 min. to work every day I love kids, the staff, and especially my principal! She is an absolutely wonderful principal, but then again any principal would be better than my last one! What an asshole he was! He was very unsupportive, a total brown-noser to the district, had a serious Napolean complex, and had no clue how to interact with human beings. My new principal is the exact POLAR opposite and I thank God for bringing this job to me!
What I would also like to thank God and yahoo personals is for bringing me the love of my life, Raymond Lim. He is absolutely phenomenal. He is everything that I've looked for in a man and so much more! If my new principal is the total opposite of my old principal, Ray is the same! I completely respect him and am completely attracted to him in every way. I find myself constantly thinking about him (even 7 months later!) and counting the minutes until I see him. I long to see his face, to feel his arms around me, and to hear his silly jokes! I had spent the last 10 years dating the wrong guys, but because of that I was able to see all the good that Ray has and that I long for. Thanks to the past I was able to finally know what I really wanted in a man and he is the whole package. I could seriously go on gushing about him but then you'll probably vomit. So, in so many words, this is my first blog. I hope you enjoyed it, otherwise, get the hell outta here!